Getting Close

Thursday marked my 35th week of pregnancy, and boy am I ready for her to come out! My utter lack of mobility and energy annoys the crap out of me, and after nearly a year of being pregnant I've forgotten almost what it feels like to not be pregnant. Makes me wonder how the mom from 19 Kids and Counting can keep popping out kids! Bill has been an awesome partner throughout from putting on and tying my shoes for me to reading to my stomach, I really have grown to love and admire him more over these last several months.

All-in-all we're ready for our daughter's arrival. Sure we don't have a completely decorated and assembled nursery, but I keep reminding myself that all that is more for the parents than the baby anyway. For the first 2-3 months we plan to have Ava in our room sleeping in the newborn sleeper that's a part of her pack n play. After that she'll move into her own room and sleep in her crib.

As for life right now my days are spent going to work and doctor's appointments. I have weekly fetal non-stress tests (NST) in addition to physical therapy. I didn't know the pelvic bone was actually two bones, and lo and behold my sweet unborn daughter had rendered the right side immobile resulting in horrible pain. Luckily that got corrected in just a couple of visits, and since then I go to PT so I can walk in the acquaciser. It's an underwater treadmill that allows me to walk without the weight from the pregnancy and my joints love it. I especially love feeling the circulation in my legs and seeing the swelling reduce dramatically in my feet and ankles. It's especially recommended for mom's with gestational diabetes since as many of you know diabetes affects circulation. Anyway, it's great and I've been incredibly grateful for it and my physical therapist.

It's my feeling the dogs can tell something is up, and they regularly walk over to Ava's closet to smell her clothes hanging in it. My mom of course worries with two 80 and 90 lb (respectively) dogs that she's going to wound up hurt or worse by them. We aren't worried though; like with any change a family welcomes, everyone has to adjust and kind of get re-trained. Our Labrador Reese has amazed us with her maternal side and when around small children and babies she hesitates to even lick them let alone jump or get too excited. Our Boxer Jovi on the other hand is a tornado of love and I think it'll take him a while longer to understand acceptable behavior around her. I've always described him as a 2-year-old with ants in his pants. He knows he's supposed to sit and be calm, but the wiggles overtake him and eventually we turn to laughing at his seemingly uncontrollable excitement. He'll get it though.

Well, I think I've rambled on long enough here. What I've written is the product of yesterday's motivation paired with this morning's groggy, haven't had my coffee yet, am I really awake state-of-mind. All our love!

Plugging Along

Long time no...well, you know the rest. I'd love to say I've been busy, but the truth of the matter is I've been succumbing to the fatigue of my third trimester. As of yesterday I am 30 weeks (that's 7 1/2 months for those of you not forced to speak in weeks) and feeling like crap, quite frankly. For the past week I've had excruciating back pain from my sciatic nerve and have a referral to see a physical therapist next week. While I am hoping the PA can figure something out, I'm not holding my breath. I believe my OB's exact words were "welcome to your third trimester." In the meantime I walk slowly, with a limp, and sit or lie down whenever possible. Bill's even been so kind as to give me a new nickname: Weebles. Ah honey, I love you too!

We have had an enjoyable holiday season, as I hope you all have too. We hosted for the first time ever this Thanksgiving and had my parents and our good friends the Mace's over. I cooked so much food I was forced to come to the realization that I am much like my mother in the kitchen. It was exhausting, but it felt so nice to be able to feed instead of be fed. Christmas was lower key than we would have liked, but vow next year to be better. Cole chose to stay in KS w/ his mother for the holiday so we called him that day and mailed him his gifts, though it made it all seem very cold and sterile. Again, we're hoping for a better year next year.

Bill is doing well and looking forward to the end of his time in OWT. The program, like many things in the military, wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and we're finding it now to be a blessing that we will not be pursuing a second year. We have some exciting options on our horizon and look forward to all the new year brings. All will be revealed in good time, but our daughter's birth is of course the number one thing we're anticipating. Admittedly I find myself daydreaming about her regularly; last night, as we watched my nieces and nephews as their parents were out on a date, I was combing one of the girl's hair after a bath and couldn't help but think before too long it'll be my daughter's hair I'll be combing. A wonderfully overwhelming thought, I must confess.

Well, we hope every one's doing well and that so far 2010 is proving to be a good year for all. No resolutions for me this year - instead, I am going to go for mindset which will be God, family and self. Even being able to admit that is where I want to go exhibits more faith than I've probably had since I was a little girl. I am slowly realizing the more I relinquish control, the more I realize God is looking out for me and my family. At 30 I feel like his slowest-learning child yet, but I'm trying.

All our love!

We're Having a Girl!

I am so excited to announce that we are having a GIRL! Ava Elise McClain is anticipated to join our family on March 11, 2010. The best news of all is she's healthy and I'm healthy. Despite initial health concerns, tests show that there's no threat to me or the baby at this point. She was a moving, wiggling little thing and it took the entire appointment to get her to show. She's 14 oz. and the doctor said if they didn't already know her due date, her growth would put her dead on the 11th. I have dreamed about this little girl for years and its taken a lot of faith, hope and most of all having God on our side to bring her to us. We are blessed beyond compare and we cannot wait to hold her in our arms. All our love!

Updates!

I'm not sure if anyone reads our blog anymore considering I've gone downhill with posts, but I swear I'm trying to do better! I'm going to do my best and catch people up on what's been going on in the McClain household.

Seems like God has some different plans for us because Bill didn't get his second year in OWT. It's disappointing, and I didn't have a lot of grace in my reaction when I first found out, but it is what it is. Naturally we immediately thought we'd be going back to Kansas in April, but Bill has decided to look for work here as well as back in KS to cast a wider net and increase our chances for employment options. There are lots of PDs hiring here and at pay that truthfully, KS can't touch. It puts our dreams off a little longer to buy a house, but staying here for another 2-3 years would put us in a pristine financial position to buy a house when we did get back to KS. Yes, we want to end up there because of the cost of living, and of course to be close to Cole. We just try to do the best we can and pray God makes up the difference, so I'll let you know where we land when we land!

Pregnancy is going well; I am 19 weeks tomorrow. My tummy is growing and I go back and forth between feeling like a mommy-to-be and a bloated mess. Certain clothes make it obvious, but I find myself leaning towards looser clothes for comfort. On the 28th of this month we learn the baby's sex and I am going out of my mind with anticipation. Bill's a guy and has the mentality that it is what it is, which is an accurate sentiment, but being the emotional and incredibly excited mommy-to-be I of course have the patience of a 1-year-old. Last taken the baby's heart rate has been in the 160s, so very healthy and on high side. He/she is bigger than the target growth for his/her gestational age, but that's consistent with the kids Humphrey women grow.

Cole is doing excellent in school, all As and Bs, though he still isn't a fan of school in general. PE is his favorite subject and math is his least favorite. It's been three months since he's been back in KS with his mom, but we are really looking forward to Christmas when he comes out again for a week. He was just in love with his new cousins when he was out this summer, so we'll definitely make plans to have cousins get together as much as possible while he's out.

And what would be a post without mentioning my other children, Jovi and Reese? Both are doing well; Reese officially outweighs Jovi now at 74 lbs vs. 70. She's only 7 months mind you, but a tank. Despite her puppy enthusiasm, she has got to be the most gentile, loving, affectionate dog I've ever met. They play non-stop which at times is nice, and other times having 140+ lbs of dog thrashing around is a bit annoying. Despite having a yard we try to go to the dog park as much as possible so they can get their socializing on and really have room to run and tear it up.

Life's pretty average for us, which is just the way we like it. Calm with flair ups here and there of normal life craziness, but we enjoy the nights in, walking the dogs and my favorite which is date night. We hope everyone's doing well and that life is treating you as well as its treating us. We're on Facebook if anyone wants to find us, or you can always leave a comment if you like. Take care, and all our love!

We're Pregnant!

It has been far too long since I've last written, wow! Well the title says it all, we are pregnant! As of today I am on my way out of my first trimester and doing well. "Complicated" is my doctor's description, but still doing well. My pregnancy is high-risk, but I am watched carefully by doctors and am taking care of myself.

This is technically my second pregnancy, and both elicited different reactions from me. With the first, my jaw dropped to the floor and stayed there for about three days. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage around 6/7 weeks. To be honest, experiencing a loss

like that is probably the most painful thing I've endured to date. I don't know about

everyone else's teens and twenties, those dating years where your world was made or

broken by the boy you were with. I remember the tears, the broken heart, the feeling

that I'd never meet anyone again. It's ironic to me how pregnancy's journey parallels

that of dating, but multiplied by 100. With my first pregnancy and the miscarriage that

followed, I cried until I couldn't breath anymore. The heart break made any past heart

breaks seem trivial at best, and I wondered if that was my only shot at being a mother.

I told one of the nurse's at my doctor's office one day that I would rather go through

every break-up that I ever experienced all over again than experience a second miscarriage. I realize pain, grief and loss is very personal, and even relative, but this is my feeling and experience. The silver lining is this - just as I found my husband who I never thought existed, I am experiencing the second trimester of my pregnancy and a happiness I didn't know I would be able to feel.

We still have a ways to go of course, another 27 weeks roughly, but the risk of miscarriage has greatly decreased at this point and I am learning to let myself enjoy this, and breath. The only thing I've felt so far is nausea, a painful lower back and the squeeze of my pants as they gradually no longer want to zip or button, but I am so excited to get to feel our baby move around. We discover the sex at the end of October and sooner or later I'm going to need to engage my mind in the fact that we truly only have the next 27 weeks to buy EVERYTHING for this brand new life!

I've posted a picture, and will certainly try and make a better effort at updating this blog as I know it's one of the only ways some of you keep up with me. We hope everyone's well. All our love.

Mission: Baby

As many of you know by now, Bill and I are on a mission to start our family.  We had a brief glimmer of hope when I became pregnant more than a year ago, but that hope was soon dashed when I miscarried and Bill left for a year to Iraq.  Six months after his return, we are back at square one working with specialists, this time here in Washington.  

We found a great reproductive specialist(s) on the east side who are apparently considered the best on the west coast.  While I loved my specialist in Missouri, I am a little confused on how to feel when I reflect on my experience between the two.  My doctor in the Midwest performed surgery, which resulted in our first pregnancy, but I miscarried just 6 weeks after.  While some diagnostic testing was performed, such as HSGs and saline sonograms, there wasn't much else.  My specialist here is putting us through the the medical gauntlet by conducing several diagnostic tests before making their diagnosis and suggesting treatment. 

It is suspected, though not yet confirmed, that I have a condition known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  It answers a lot of mysteries about me, such as adult acne, oily skin, overweight, anxiety/depression as well as fertility issues, of course.  A caveat on the weight issue - while PCOS is an attributing factor, I always have to put it out there that I fully accept responsibility for my weight gain.  Those who know me know I haven't been the most faithful to the regime of healthy eating and exercising.  From doing research, I know that PCOS cannot be cured, only managed.  In speaking with the doctor today though, I learned if there is any reproductive issue you'd want to have (as if anyone wanting children would want a reproductive issue of any kind) this would be it.  It is apparently easily managed once diagnosed, and women can have successful pregnancies.  

So where do we stand?  Right now we still have about four or five more diagnostic tests to go through.  Gratefully they are open 7 days a week, and many appointments can be scheduled on weekends so I don't have to a) miss work, and b) fight weekday traffic on 405.  Once these tests are finished and the results have been collected and analyzed, I will have a visit to discuss everything and with my doctor decide together the best course of action / treatment.  Surgery will be required again, though the extent is still being determined.  Medication will be required, which scares us some, because while our insurance covers the doctor's visits, diagnostic tests and even the surgery, it does not cover any fertility treatments, including fertility medication.  Bill and I know that God did not put this in front of us for hardship sake alone.  There is a window he's opened for us, there is a path he will show us to take - we know it.  If there is anything I am lacking it is faith, and this is probably one of the best ways to force me to grow in faith.  

In the mean time, we continue to prepare for our July wedding, work the jobs are are so grateful for, gear up for Cole's much anticipated visit beginning next weekend, spoil the crap out of our dogs and love one another.  My heart became swollen with that last one...  We are not perfect, individually or as a couple, but I cannot speak about this journey without saying how much I love my husband.  His patience, support, love, comfort, humor have been integral in helping us navigate these choppy waters.  I am such a spoiled wife, and in all the ways that truly count.  He gives me the most pure, unconditional love.  He holds me when I cry,  laughs with me when I'm feeling silly, gives me wings when I need to fly and is there when I come back down.  

We have been going through a lot - more than some, and less than others.  The wedding planning has been challenging in ways, financially being one of them.  Despite it all, Bill has been intent on letting me have the full bridal experience.  He has come home with bride magazines, whispered in my ear as I headed out the door with my mom and friend to go dress shopping to "have fun, enjoy yourself," assembled invitations, and helped tied those stubborn bows on all the wedding favors.  His actions speak volumes.  

I could go on for forever, I'm pretty emotional this morning and feeling inspired to write, but I'll stop here.  Pray for us, as we pray for all of our friends and family every night.  We know we're blessed - if we quite receiving blessings today we still would have received more than we deserved.  Stop and think of all you have, everything and everyone that is around you.  We all have more than we realize.  All our love.    

iMac

Yay!  Our new iMac is here!  The screen is huge, the keyboard is micro and the only thing familiar about the mouse is the shape.  We have so much to learn but are stoked it's finally here!  We had a bit of a problem with FedEx - that is to say FedEx had some confusion in thinking they delivered it when they never did.  Funny!  

I also went in for my final fitting for my wedding dress today and brought it home.  The wedding is taking shape and the closer we get the more excited I am becoming.  We have been so blessed with friends and family both generous monetarily and with their time.  This has been a pretty overwhelming process for me and I honestly have to tip my hat to the brides who have come before me and just dove into the planning fearlessly.  I love being married, not getting married per se.  

Anyway, dinner is almost ready so I'd better go.  I just wanted to post some updates and okay, I'll admit it, type on the micro keyboard.  So fun!  All our love xo