2011

2010 was a bitter-sweet year for us. In March we had our beautiful baby girl, Ava, and Bill effectively became unemployed at the same time when he got off orders from OWT (due to lack of funding when his 1 year was up). Our family had a difficult choice to make; if we wanted to remain together, Bill either had to quit his job and we would stay in WA, or I would quit mine and we would return to KS. My company who had once let me work remote before decided they would not let me do it again (for no good reason, mind you), and so we were faced that terrible decision. In this economy, why would any sane person quit their job? But alas, we had to if we wanted our family to remain together. We weighed the pros and cons as best we could, prayed, spoke with family and friends, and then made the choice to stay in WA. It was promising at first, PDs were interviewing Bill left and right, but they were all lookers and no takers.

In what was looking like a very bad situation, we have found a multitude of silver linings. We had decided we never wanted Ava in daycare, but didn't know how we'd do that (pre-unemployment) when we both had jobs. Bill, while waiting to be picked up, has cared for Ava during the day for these last 10 months. Being able to give her the consistent comfort and security of home and family has been an amazing blessing. Bill has also been working on his degree in business administration, though this quarter he decided to break from that to earn his EMT. He goes to school at night, and so when I get home from work we have usually 45 minutes to an hour to talk and catch up on each other's day, then he's off to class until 10 or so at night. What's better is the GI Bill pays for his tuition and books 100% plus gives us housing money every month.

I won't lie, bad economy or not, it has been scary for Bill to be without work. We take turns having our bad days, which has yielded the blessing of being able to comfort each other and increase the strength of our friendship and marriage. We have increased our love and faith in God. We have become more in tune with our Father these past two years than ever before. If someone would've told me that after a year like 2010 I would've come out with more faith than all the years that were financially better, I wouldn't have believed it. But here's the thing - I can feel God's hand in my life every single day. Every day. Every minute. He is there.

Parents, many of you will be able to relate to this. Every interaction with my daughter, every word I tell her, reminds me of God's relationship with me. My mom wittingly said to me once while Ava was young and absolutely hated her tummy time, "maybe God's got you two doing tummy time?" When Ava struggles and I have to let her (i.e. tummy time, learning to reach for things, crawl, hold her own sippy cup, etc.) I think of God. I have to let Ava get a little frustrated and even have a fit or two so she becomes strong enough to develop further. I never forsake her, as God does not forsake us. I know that if faced with any harm or destruction I can pick her up and God does for us. Absolutely everything in my relationship with my child reminds me of how God feels and interacts with me. It's amazing.

Having faith and love in Him doesn't mean it's easy. And trust me, this year hasn't been easy. But I know in my heart of hearts we are not forgotten, and he is watching us closely. Yes, this does sound a little like a testimony here, and maybe it is. Whatever it is, a testimony or simply sharing my realizations from this past year, I am so grateful for everything we have been given and that He loves us so much he's willing to let us grow.

We have a great feeling about 2011, I believe it will be our year. What I want most though is to continue on this path of faith, love, perseverance, charity and hope. All our love.